It’s summer and it’s beautiful. Western Washington is incredibly lovely country and being here in the summer when it’s in the mid-70s, dry and sunny is amazing. Every summer I remember why I endure so many months of gray and rain.

And every summer, when the days become bright again, I’m reminded once again about how much of my bouts with depression are simply due to lack of light. Although I’ve learned to use full spectrum lights in the dark seasons, it is nowhere near the same as being flooded with sunlight.

It makes me wonder once again about the relationship between the body and the mind. While I completely accept and believe that the state of your thoughts reflects the state of your mind and body, I’ve also learned the hard way that changing those things isn’t so simple.

I grapple regularly with trying to understand where the balancing point is between depressive thinking that can be changed and the point at which hormones and neurotransmitters are so out of whack that medication is the only thing that helps.

After many years of trying to move out of the depression on my own, I finally spoke to a doctor about it this past winter and was stunned to find out that most people who wake up depressed in the morning have a hormonal imbalance; whereas those who become depressed during the day are often being affected by the events in their lives. What an insight that was! For me, it’s always been an issue of waking up a mess and spending the rest of my day working to improve how I feel.

So I finally went on antidepressants and was stunned at how quickly it helped.

Then the sun came out and my mood elevated, and I’ve now been able to go off the medication. I’m hoping that now I’m stable enough to be able to maintain and build on it before the darkness returns.

But, as always, it makes me wonder where the tipping point is where someone can help themselves through changing their habits and thinking patterns on their own (which has never worked consistently for me – but I know worked beautifully for so many people) and where it becomes so much of a physical issue that medication is needed.

If you’ve read this far and are interested in these things, there is a really good book on the brain called “The Brain That Changes Itself” that is a fascinating look at what they’ve figured out about how the brain works. It’s very worth reading.